Where's Farrah?!

Teen Mom Season Premiere Recap: They're Back ... But Where's Farrah?!

The fabulous four ladies of Teen Mom: OG (for Original Girls, not Gangstas, unfortunately) are back on MTV, which aired a brand new episode last night.
While a great deal has changed in the lives of Farrah Abraham, Catelynn Lowell, Amber Portwood and Maci Bookout, some things remain the same.
What did we learn from the long-awaited season premiere? What surprises and twists await when you watch Teen Mom online after a three year hiatus?
First things first: Farrah Abraham, the polarizing Teen Mom-turned-Backdoor Teen Mom porn star, was MIA from Monday's Teen Mom: OG premiere.
We know she returns and the cast was not happy about it, but either MTV is building up the suspense or she signed on late and didn't have enough footage.
You won't see her this week, in any case, but what you will see are the MTV crews and producers that follow the Teen Mom stars, front and center.
We see the ladies sounding off to producers frequently, and their children reacting (for better or worse) to the intensive production going on around them.
It's definitely different, and we're not sure quite what the angle is, but it's an honest change from some of the awkward, forced discussions of years past.
So what are the fab three ladies up to these days?
For Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra, taking a pregnancy test. It's blue! Or whatever color it is when you're pregnant! And they're keeping this one!
The engaged step-siblings famously chose to place their daughter Carly for adoption in 2009, and so her second pregnancy carries a range of emotions.
“Marriage does not make good kids, good people raise good kids,” Tyler says calling off their 2013 wedding due to cold feet (they're planning a new one).
Cue quasi-Farrah Abraham cameo. At the recent Couples Therapy reunion on VH1, she blasted Cate and Tyler for having another child out of wedlock.
“She’s a whack job, dude,” Catelynn tells a friend of her former co-star.
“I think she probably wants to play it off like she’s not mad [for not being on Teen Mom: OG, which she was originally fired from], but that bitch is mad.”
That she is ... but you'll be seeing a lot more of her soon. No, not as much as you saw in that Farrah Abraham porn, but a lot in the emotional sense.
Maci Bookout and Taylor McKinney are living together and she's doing well balancing parenting and school. There's just the same baby daddy issue.
Ryan Edwards is clearly not interested in being a dad. Like at all.
Fortunately, Taylor seems like a better guy, and since he got Maci Bookout pregnant recently, she'll have a chance at a do-over of sorts ... or something.
Also, Bentley remains the cutest of the cute. His dad may be a total loser and his mom may struggle from time to time, but he seems to be doing well.
Amber Portwood, out in Indiana, is out of jail and back in the game.
The sober parenting game. Not that a day goes by without a struggle of some kind. She served 17 months in jail, and learned a lesson. Still, it's a battle.
“I think the one thing that people don’t understand unless you’ve been an addict is that you’re never cured,” she says, as there are always triggers.
A big one for her is Gary Shirley, her daughter's father, and a man whose relationship with Amber has been so volatile that it's driven her to extremes.
Amber’s mom Tonya isn't exactly a positive influence, either. She's straight up ready to fight Gary and wilding out on her daughter at a nail salon.
It was a disturbing scene that left Portwood reeling more than usual.
After that, “I thought about getting high,” Amber says. “I was feeling like, ‘Oh my god, I could handle this if I was clocked out.’ I need to see my daughter because I’m not feeling well.”
We hope she stays the course, 'cause we know how hard she tries.


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